Olandria’s Guilt Held Her Back from ‘That Spark’ with Nic (Exclusive)

The spark was always there for Nicolandria, whether or not they wanted to admit it.

Love Island USA season 7 runners-up Nic Vansteenberghe and Olandria Carthen won viewers’ hearts when they finally decided to give things a chance between them, following Cierra Ortega’s sudden departure from the villa.

The second go-around followed a brief coupling that was the result of both of them being dumped in shocking Casa Amor recouplings. They kissed one time during their first go as a couple, delighting fans who had been rooting for Nicolandria, as they were lovingly dubbed, all along.

Immediately afterwards, though, they both agreed that things were better kept platonic between them.

Olandria is now clearing up why she shot down a romantic connection with Nic after their first real kiss.

During their kiss in Soul Ties, Olandria tells PEOPLE, “I didn’t allow myself to feel that spark. If I’m being honest, yes, there was [one].”

“I was like, ‘You know what? I feel so guilty.’ I’m just going to write it off and say that there wasn’t, out of respect for Cierra.”

She says she felt like she “owed Cierra so much,” as Nic and Cierra had been coupled up for weeks prior to Casa Amor. “I always preach about girlhood and sisterhood and all that stuff. So I just wanted to stay true to my word.”

“I’m always considerate of everyone else’s feelings other than mine. I’ll always put myself to the side and was willing to give this connection up [for] Close, “She continues.

“I was like, regardless of how that makes me feel, that’s just the type of person that I am, truly. I’m always considering everyone else feelings except for mine. I was willing to give Nic up and just ride it out, however that looked like for me — whether that was me going home or just coupling up with someone else, out of respect for Cierra.”

Once Cierra was no longer in the picture, though, Olandria says she finally put herself first.

It was finally time for the 27-year-old to “make my own selfish decision and not get in my head about how it’s going to make everyone else feel.”

“And I’m so happy that I finally did that. Because I feel like the entire season, I was always considering everyone else’s opinions and feelings, before my own. I suffered so much because of it.”

“The one moment that I did make a decision for me was the best decision I could have ever made, and made my whole experience way better,” she adds of coupling up with Nic.

It’s now a “lesson learned,” she says. “I think the selfish me is here to stay, to say the least.”

From Nic’s perspective, he’s clear on the fact that he was always interested in Olandria — regardless of his connection with Cierra.

Reflecting on how his and Olandria’s story unfolded, Nic tells PEOPLE, “I think the way that it was portrayed was me instantly leaving Cierra for Olandria, [it comes off] to some people [like] it was black and white.”

“In reality, I was her secret admirer from day one,” he says of Olandria. “And I think people are forgetting that we have history behind not just that moment.”

He also points out that he was “very vocal with her and Taylor and Ace, that this is something I’m taking slow and we’re building towards something.”

His thought process, as he recalls, was: “Our connections are no longer here. Now that those doors are closed, I think we should explore this and enjoy however much time we have left in the villa.”

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Love Island USA season 7 can be streamed in full on Peacock.