Aiding Abetz: An incredible stoush in the Tasmanian Parliament looks like it might topple the leader of 50% of the country’s Liberal governments. At first it only seemed a half-smart gamble from the Labor opposition party (moving a vote of no confidence against Liberal Premier Jeremy Rockliff), but by God, it might just work.
And among the leaders who could take over from Rockliff is none other than former federal senator Eric Abetz. We can speak to neither the likelihood nor the desirability of the appointment for the people of Tasmania. But from a content point of view, we cannot stress enough that Tips and Murmurs is backing Abetz, the rightwing hardliner and oldest man to ever be whatever age he currently is.
The Tasmanian constitution needs a bit of reworking anyway, so why not reimagine the state in the image of Abetz? A daily state-mandated oath of loyalty for Chinese citizens. GetUp! volunteers in jail, where they belong. Forget just renaming June, EVERY month would be “Nuclear Family” month. Funds for the state’s proposed stadium instead diverted to build a royal residence on Bruny Island (with heavily discounted ferry fares for Charles and Camilla, obviously). And of course, some very, very slight changes to the school history curriculum.
Stadia mania: Still in Tasmania, the political turmoil is posing a threat to Tasmania’s AFL dream, which has gotten us thinking about alternative ways to expand the competition. Luckily for us, there is already a model for our consideration, penned by former United Australia Party candidate for Melbourne Tony Pecora.
Pecora — distinguished for somehow managing to be punted from the UAP ahead of the 2019 federal election, following his remark that 9/11 could’ve been the work of “globalist forces” — penned a 12-page “proposal for a truly inter / national footy league” and posted it on the vaunted football forum BigFooty.
Inspired by the European model of football, which sees teams promoted and relegated between leagues, Pecora’s proposal (read here) included a 59-team, four-division structure that spanned the breadth of the globe.
Some teams Pecora envisioned were the “Geraldton Dingoes”, doubly serving as West Coast’s reserve team, playing in the fourth division alongside privateer entries from Vancouver and Cape Town, as well as an Alice Springs All Stars side, to be publicly funded by the National Indigenous Australians Agency.
Pecora’s free market model projected a $710.4 million revenue stream in 2025 from gate and broadcast rights, and even included possible rules changes such as throwing the ball to bridge the gap from rugby and American football codes and promote international expansion.
White House Cameo: Earlier this week, former White House staffer Cory Alpert, currently a PhD researcher at the University of Melbourne, wrote about the pure weirdness of the tech oligarchy-types he encountered during his time with the Biden administration. Among the catalogue of proudly unhealthy working habits and staggering unthinking entitlement came the following detail:
I once watched the son of a tech billionaire demand that a senior US government official record a video to ask a girl out for him
We hear that this request for some Cameo-style matchmaking came from the son of the founder of a big San Francisco tech company, and was aimed at a member of Biden’s cabinet. We don’t know for sure who was approached or whether the video was made, but with this kind of white hot charisma, who wouldn’t want a romantic endorsement from a senior Democrat?
Trump Dei-Renage Syndrome: Yesterday we noted some of the more absurd facets of the Trump administration’s obsession with “diversity, equity and inclusion” hiring practices. But it looks like we missed a couple. Thanks to Crikey commenter Heather D’Cruz, who reminded us of an absolute beauty: suring the March 4 State of the Union address, Trump alleged that the Biden administration had spent $8 million “making mice transgender”. Whoever was writing his speeches had, wilfully or otherwise, mistaken research that used transgenic mice (i.e. mice with modified DNA).
These are they are.: But don’t think the US opposition is sitting on its hands in the face of all of this. The Democrats are bringing out the big guns, with an email sent out to members shilling for contributions from none other than Barack Obama. Anyone willing to stump up US$3 for the Dems goes into a draw to meet the last president who allowed progressives to think about anything other than politics for even a bit.
And what will the Democrats be using the money for? The party has put together a relentless, and I do mean relentless, campaign of mildly amusing digs. After a recent nickname seemed to get under his skin, the party is commissioning a (God, guys, how are you still doing this stuff) taco truck. “Trump always chickens out — we’re just bringing the tacos to match,” DNC Chair Ken Martin said in a statement that we assume will show up in future histories of the Trump family’s 30-year presidential reign.