Years ago, I sat across the table from the CEO of a fast-growing company who asked me something few executives are humble enough to ask: “What do my people really need from me right now?” It wasn’t a question about strategy, performance metrics, or market disruption. It was about presence. When I asked him what he thought the answer might be, he said, “Probably something I can’t put on a KPI.”
He was right.
In an age of noise and non-stop visibility, the leaders who truly move people forward are not always the loudest. They are the ones who practise quiet power. They understand that influence isn’t about charisma; it is about discipline. It is not in the spotlight moments but in the silent ones. This is the essence of quiet power: the intentional, consistent, behind-the-scenes effort that builds trust, shapes culture, and earns followership.
We talk a lot about the “big” moves in leadership, vision casting, strategic pivots, and bold decisions. But what about the quiet moves? The ones that don’t trend on LinkedIn but shape culture more deeply than any corporate announcement.
Interestingly, the true test of a leader isn’t what they do on stage; it is what they cultivate off it. The discipline of influence is about how you lead when nobody is watching, applauding, or promoting. And in that quiet space, your legacy is being formed.
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Invisible work in leadership looks like choosing integrity in budget decisions that no one will audit. It looks like pausing in a tense meeting to ask the most withdrawn team member what they think. It looks like walking slowly through the office on a Monday morning, just to check how people are really doing.
These acts may not generate applause, but they generate trust. And trust, not charisma, is the currency of sustainable influence.
Modern leadership often rewards the visible, the polished presentation, the town hall spotlight, and the crisis email drawn at 2 a.m. But beneath the surface, every high-performing team I have worked with has one common denominator: a leader who does the work no one sees and never stops doing it.
The foundation of quiet power begins with relational awareness. The discipline of influence begins with noticing. Great leaders are present, and they notice when someone withdraws.
Who’s been quiet lately? Who’s staying late but emotionally checking out? They ask questions no one else thinks to ask. They pick up on emotional shifts long before performance suffers.
This isn’t soft leadership; it is smart leadership. Emotional attunement is a strategic asset, not just a relational one. This kind of attunement requires what psychologists call “relational bandwidth.” Your ability to sense what is not said. You don’t need to be a therapist. You just need to be present. Your team notices when you care, and they remember when you don’t.
Then there is character, the core of credibility. The leader who speaks with integrity in small meetings is trusted in big ones. When your team sees that you make ethical decisions even when shortcuts are available, they don’t just respect you; they emulate you. Quiet power grows through private discipline.
The leader who cuts corners in private will eventually lead an organisation that cuts corners in public. The leader who gossips behind closed doors will always sow fear in open meetings. Character is not what you show when you are leading up; it is who you are when you are leading across and down. Quiet power means your values show up in the parts of the business that don’t have optics.
And then there is empathy in motion. The discipline of influence shows up when you defer credit, coach with patience, or choose stillness in the heat of conflict. It is in the pauses you take to breathe before reacting. The grace you extend when someone underdelivers. These acts might be invisible on paper, but they are unforgettable in people’s memories.
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Quiet power often means doing the inconvenient thing because it is the right thing. Cancelling a day of back-to-back meetings to sit with a team in emotional crisis. Staying silent in a meeting so someone else can be heard. Coaching rather than correcting. Choosing patience when you’re under pressure. These are not soft skills—they are soul skills. And they are usually learnt, not taught.
Here is the paradox: when you lead with quiet power, your impact becomes louder. Not because you are performing but because you are anchoring. Teams crave this kind of leadership more than ever. In uncertain times, steadiness is magnetic.
So, how do you build this kind of influence? You start by noticing more than you speak. You practise patience without passivity. You let your values govern your responses. You live the culture before you teach it.
Think about your week ahead. Are there decisions you are making simply for visibility? Are there conversations you have been avoiding that, if handled quietly, could change someone’s trajectory? Are you showing up for the long game or the quick win?
The best leaders I know have a rhythm: they reflect regularly, connect deeply, and act quietly but decisively. They know that true influence isn’t in being heard; it is in being trusted. And trust is always built in the silence before the applause.
This week, choose quiet power. Let your presence be consistent, your decisions be principled, and your leadership be anchored.
Because the discipline of influence doesn’t announce itself. But it never goes unnoticed.
About the author:
Dr Toye Sobande is a strategic leadership expert, lawyer, public speaker, and trainer. He is the CEO of Stephens Leadership Consultancy LLC, a strategy and management consulting firm offering creative insight and solutions to businesses and leaders. Email: [email protected]
