Albo’s Praetorian Guard: Speaking on Triple M Sydney the Monday morning after the election, Anthony Albanese put his success down to having a united team behind him and the luxury of avoiding backstabbing colleagues.
“One of the things that renders our success possible is the fact that throughout the last three years, I haven’t had to look over my shoulder,” he said. “I’ve got a Praetorian Guard, if you like, who do that for me, and that’s really positive.”
History students out there will note that the Praetorian Guard in Ancient Rome are quite famous for routinely engineering the assassinations of the emperors they were bound to protect.
The earliest references to Albanese’s Praetorian Guard were ahead of the 2022 election, where the Financial Review’s Andrew Tillett and Guardian Australia’s Katharine Murphy (incidentally now Albanese’s media adviser) wrote about the then opposition leader’s loyalists in the partyroom.
However, it may have been a reference to Star Warswhich Albanese said he planned to spend the day after the election watching. The Praetorian Guard in Star Warsnamed for those in Ancient Rome, protect the emperor… who is the bad guy.
One of us: Speaking of Star WarsDonald Trump’s, shall we say, creative use of AI continues unabated, providing the 1.7 million people who follow the White House’s X account (yes, this is posted on the actual White House’s account) with a seemingly endless stream of unsavoury images to be forever burnt into your retina. May 4, a big day for Star Wars fans, offered another such opportunity, with Trump mocked up as a steroid-taking Jedi flanked by two massive eagles.
The problem with the picture (bar the obvious)? His lightsaber is red. Fear is the path to the dark side, after all.
Tip-tie around the subject: It’s Met Gala Monday in the US, but Australia already had its premier fashion event — the ABC election-night panel. Grabbing the most attention among the sartorially savvy was Annabel Crabb’s tie. Was it made of catering ham? A flesh-toned hot water bottle? The skin of an unfortunate producer? Annabel, Annabel, tell us who are you wearing?
Turns out the leather tie was the creation of a small designer based in the seat of Grayndler, Natalija Rushidi. As Crabb explained on Instagram, the controversial hue was a deliberate choice: “It is entirely politically neutral, being one of the few remaining shades of the Pantone spectrum yet to be annexed by a political movement.”
Anthony Pratt, fashion icon: Speaking of the Met Gala, we’d be remiss not to mention Australia’s most fashionably adventurous guest. No, it’s not Nicole Kidman… it’s cardboard king Anthony Pratt, a frequent attendee of the exclusive fashion fundraiser. This year, the theme of the Costume Institute’s exhibit is “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style”, an ode to Black style and the history of dandyism. The gala’s dress code is “Tailored for You”, so naturally Pratt is wearing a lime-green suit covered in the “100% Recycled” logo, complete with green bowler hat, blue sneakers, and a cane.
Say what you want about Pratt, he’s become more confident in his signature style over the years: his bright, pretty in pink three-piece ensemble in 2024 was a big step up from the classic white jacket look he wore in 2023.
Madigan’s LinkedIn victory lap: While the deeply entertaining spectacle of Liberal Party operatives picking over the entrails of what went wrong continues to roll out (including the finger pointing over Freshwater’s disastrous internal polling) on the Labor side, a long line of party operatives are lining up to crow about their part in the government’s triumph. And where better to humble brag than the gloating hellscape that is LinkedIn? The latest to get in on the act is Dee Madigan — spruiking her agency’s work as the brains behind the “He cuts, You pay” campaign… #gratitude #gloating #thatsecuresthegruentransferslotforanother5years
Political jargon, explained: Sometimes it’s handy to have a little guide to all the jargon used by political journalists, especially at election time. Luckily for us, Liberal pollster Mark Textor has got us sorted with a guide posted on, yep, LinkedIn, which could also double as an election night bingo card.
A “source familiar with polling” is someone who has “never seen a real poll study in his or her life but watched The West Wing once”, while a “senior source” invariably is a “junior staffer I drink with”.
“Party divisions”, meanwhile, can be translated to “the same people who always hated each other still hate each other and will always hate each other”.
The best comedy has a lining of truth, and Mark is, regrettably, not as far off as you’d think. Some advice from Tips to journos and staffers alike — turn off The West Wing. You’ll be okay.
