The very shirt off her back: The NSW Nationals held their annual conference over the weekend, where they unsurprisingly voted to abandon Australia’s commitment to achieving net-zero emissions by 2050.
The party, a sectional interest within a sectional interest, has never strayed far from the policy priorities of mining magnate Gina Rinehart, a woman who insists on jamming money into the Coalition’s coffers no matter how embarrassing the circumstances.
But even by her standards, the Hancock empire’s contribution to the NSW Nationals’ proceedings seemed a touch modest. As HousePony906, a poster on our dear friend FriendlyJordies’ subreddit pointed out, former party leader Barnaby Joyce was reduced to auctioning off a Kidman shirt from the upmarket “country” clothing company owned by Rinehart, part of the “Gina Inc” apparel empire alongside Rossi Boots and Driza-Bone. And if a single expensive work shirt isn’t enough to get you reaching for your wallet? How about this: they’ve only gone and rendered the clothing unwearable by daubing it with what appears to be Nationals MPs’ autographs:
No word yet on whether this one has any highly personal photos of Rinehart’s staff members embroidered into the lining.
Cringe comes for thee: Bill Shorten is a man haunted by cringe. It stalks him through all eternity, steady and unfeeling. He dares not investigate a bump in the night, lest cringe be waiting in the shadows, ready to ask him about his favourite type of lettuce. He has long stopped sharing his location, even to loved ones, in case cringe has adopted their persona to trick him into trying to eat a sausage sandwich.
He was briefly able to hide out in his post-politics role as ANU vice chancellor, girding himself with friends and protectors. But he knew this day was coming. You can tell by the resigned look on his face in the following Instagram post, like Matt Damon at the end of The Departed.
Albo’s Swift denial: When music lover and man of great taste Anthony Albanese attended one of Taylor Swift’s Sydney concerts in February 2024 (courtesy of Universal Music Group), one savvy Swiftie submitted a freedom of information request for documents and correspondence relating to his attendance.
One year later, the freedom of information commissioner’s decision is in. Are you ready for it? Request denied.
As reported on law firm Holding Redlich’s blog, apparently getting the squad together to belt out a rendition of “Bad Blood” with 90,000 other fans bears “no connection with the prime minister’s portfolio responsibilities, nor with the business … [of] any other agencies”.
Don’t rain on my parade: This past weekend’s 250th anniversary parade for the US military, which happened to coincide with the 79th birthday of Donald Trump — who promised any protests would be met with “very great force” — had loomed ominously for weeks.
However, the parade didn’t turn out to be very much of anything at all — thought it did manage some solid Trumpisms. There was White House director of communications Steven Cheung getting us all nostalgic by pulling a Sean Spicer on the attendance, posting that “over 250,000 patriots showed up to celebrate”, a figure “not even close to accurate” according to MSNBC reporter Vaughn Hillyard.
And of course, future satirists will have to search for an image less on the nose than Creedance Clearwater Revival’s blistering “Fortunate Son” — written about how the children of privilege are able to dodge military service — deployed on the soundtrack for the president’s birthday military parade, sponsored by Lockheed Martin and a crypto company.
Evasive manoeuvres: Apparently it’s 2003 all over again. When Minister for Employment and Workplace Relations Amanda Rishworth and Liberal Senator Andrew Bragg went on Nine’s breakfast show Today on Monday to discuss the Israel-Iran war, and after Bragg had described the Iranian regime as “the worst … anywhere on the planet” and “seriously bad people”, Karl Stefanovic pressed Rishworth on whether she thought “Iranians are bad people”.
Rishworth, oddly, didn’t answer the question on air, instead just saying it was important that “we do see a de-escalation of tensions here, because if this spills over [into a broader regional conflict]it has much bigger ramifications”.
Crikey contacted Rishworth and asked whether she had anything further to add to her answer but did not reply by deadline.